Thunderstruck

I am thunderstruck! After fuming for a day after the eggshells were dumped down to my deck, my neighbor rang my doorbell and apologized about it. She said a bag spilled and that's how the shells fell down. It wasn't until today that she was looking through the cracks and realized how much fell down. She even said she was planning to put down carpeting to prevent spills from falling down further.

She asked if I'd like her to come and pick up the shells. I gave my best emotionless, "No, I'll just clean it up later, but do you want the fork that fell down, too?" When I handed it to her it was covered in fuzz and dirt. I didn't want a stranger coming inside and peeping around seeing inside my place.

I am shocked that she apologized. It's not the first time she has done that, albeit after the fact. But it seems like if she's aware of these things, why not take precautions to stop it in advance?

I ask you, the reader, should her apology and proposal to put carpeting down make me reconsider taking all this to the condo association?

Eggshells from Heaven

More shit from the neighbors rained down this afternoon. Eggshells and a fork. Don't they know the average egg contains 212 mg of cholesterol? Silly fuckfaces. At this rate, they'll drop dead of heart attacks before I report them to the condo association and have them drummed out of the complex.

Sunday in the Park

Please play in 480p (the highest resolution available). It looks much better that way.

Friday Night Appetizers: Spring Rolls

Look at the expiration date on the rice noodles. They let you decide when it expires.

 Lettuce, mint, cilantro, bean sprouts, green onion, and shrimp (not shown).

 Ta-dah!

Exercise Terminology

I've rededicated myself recently to P90X. I just finished week 4, day 2.

It's been over a year now since I've been to a gym. I've been doing P90X off and on over the past year. I have seen improvements. I'm not experiencing a whole lot of results currently, but when I did it back to back my first two times, I was seeing improvements. I never saw anything like the video claims, but definitely enough to justify that I could get the same results with or without a gym.

Of course back during the gym days, I did my cardio on machines. Many people say they can't do cardio on a machine because it's boring. I can see that. So if you can't have fun on the machines, at least have fun with the names.

Here is a fogger-to-english translation guide for many of your common cardio machines.

stair mistress = stair master
ambulating belt = treadmill
velocipedler = stationary bike
waterless canoe = rowing machine
ovalator = elliptical machine

Pizza Face

Hurray for Saturday night dinner.

 

Movie Penis

Have you ever played a game where you use the title of a movie to describe your penis? I was having a back and forth of this game with a friend.

Of course the game is to come up with movie titles that make your penis sound impressive like King Kong, but I like to take it in the opposite direction by finding titles that shock and horrify or make it sound less than impressive. Here are some from my list.

Tootsie
Sister Act
The Hunt for Red October
Gidget (One of my favorites!)
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Not without My Daughter
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
To Kill a Mockingbird
Miracle on 34th Street
The Unsinkable Molly Brown (One of my favorites!)
Sophie's Choice
The Bad Seed
Baby's Day Out
Honey I Shrunk the Kids
Mame