Ten Years Ago Today

Since everyone is posting messages about 9/11, I'll tell you mine.

Ten years ago my sister woke me up early in the morning and told me to turn on the television. I was shocked and in disbelief and frightened because my parents were vacationing in Washington D.C. that day. I'm sure you've heard many people describe watching the events on TV as if it were a Hollywood movie. That's what it felt like for me. I saw the footage of the planes striking Tower 1 and 2 over and over again, and I was dumbfounded with what I saw.

I eventually heard from my parents. They were fine. They weren't even aware of what was happening at first because they had been out early in the morning visiting tourist sites. They did notice that there were a lot of ambulances and fire trucks in D.C. My mother said that when they got to the Smithsonian museum they found out because it was closed. They cut their visit short and returned home a few days later when planes began flying again. I believe this was the last time my parents flew on a plane. I could be wrong about that, but I don't recall them flying anywhere again.

Meanwhile, continuing on with my day, I went in to work. In those days, I worked as  a pop culture/entertainment news editor serving radio stations, TV stations, and news papers with our lighthearted news. It was a challenge this day to accomplish that. Interviews were canceled in the light of the events, which was totally understandable. Our managing editor was on vacation in Hawaii at the time and was difficult to reach. The newsroom did reach him, and he left it up to us to do what we thought was best. We decided to proceed with our objective, to supply our subscribers with our brand of quirky news.

In retrospect, I'm sure that none of our clients used anything we published over the next few days. That would include a story on 9/13 about a society of bald headed men that hold an annual convention of their bald-headed brethren each year. They believed the patriotic thing to do was continue on with their plans in hopes that "...the light radiating off the bald heads of the conventioneers will be a patriotic beacon for the rest of the world to see."

But this one story of mine was published the very next day. Looking back I think it is interesting that the subject matter revolves around a travel writer and his experiences with an Arabian custom of eating camel for a wedding. You can still find the article archived on an old web site here:

http://internettrash.com/news/getarticle.shtml?/news/2001/09/11/item9.html

Our news took a big shift toward terrorism topics and 9/11 forever after as did the rest of the mainstream media.

Looking back on the event itself, it seems like it was a long time ago. There are 10-year-old children who have never known what it was like to live in a world before the constant threat of terrorist attacks. And now children who were 10 years old at the time are now young adults whose impressionable years have been influenced forever. But it also seems like as a nation, in 10 years, we've made such little progress past the events. So long ago, but we are still covering the same ground over and over again.

I'm Not the Only One

It seems I'm not the only one among my friends who is dissatisfied with his living situation. Some want to move out of their apartment into another place with friends to save money. Others want to move to new locations.

I was out with friends this evening and several of us were talking about it. Someone threw out the idea of buying a complex and all of us moving in. I found the idea enthralling. It seemed like I wasn't the only one. Several seemed to get that spark of inspiration at the idea. But the reality of it is, no one will actually follow through on this.

I would though. I would love to live in a condo complex or a large multi-bedroom home with friends I like.  Then I could get out from under these trashy neighbors above me. But for some reason, people only dream about doing stuff like this rather than follow through. I'm guessing it's a money issue. Nobody wants to commit their money to it.

I'm frustrated over it.

The First Bloggin Fogger Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence

As you've seen from this blog, I like to cook. But sometimes, I like to heat.

Tonight I didn't make dinner, but I heated in the oven frozen chicken strips and sweet potato fries. And tonight I would like to present the First Bloggin Fogger Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence to Alexia Foods for their delicious Spicy Sweet Potato Julienne Fries with Chipotle Seasoning. They're spicy, but not too spicy, and full of flavor. I highly recommend you seek them out in your grocer's freezer. I found mine at VONS.

Meanwhile, the Tyson's Chicken Breast Tenders receive the tarnished seal of disapproval. With chicken tenders so bland and uninspired they should be swept away with a broom and not even given to the dog. DO NOT buy these.

Not Bert

I went to see Mary Poppins tonight with one of my coworkers, Anna, and some of her friends. Two years ago, for Halloween, Anna came to work dressed as Mary and I came as Bert.

After the show, we hung around the stage door and got the autograph of the actress who played Mary. We lingered around, taking pictures in front of a poster. As we parted, Anna and her friends were calling me Bert and saying, "Goodbye, Bert."

As I stood at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change, a girl (maybe in her teens) who had been in earshot of us came running up and asked me, in complete sincerity, if I would sign her playbill.

I had to tell her I wasn't really in the performance; my friends were just teasing me. To which she responded, "Oh, that's embarrassing."

But deep down inside, I wish I were in the performance.

Great Value

I've let the shit collect again since the last egg shell mess. And here's what's in this goodie bag.

 Someone likes Great Value brand fruit smilies. But guess who's not smiling.

 Mardi gras beads. I wonder who flashed what to get these.

 A wide shot of the garbage, beads, paper, some orange plastic thing, and some green plastic army men.

 A long shot.

 Cigarettes from the smoking section.

 Closeup of those delicious treats.

In other news. I'm driving a Nissan MRSA while my car is being fixed at the mechanic's again! This makes four times the transmission has had to be worked on. And when I got home from work, I had a red pickup truck in my reserved spot. If you are the owner of this truck, license plate APN8112 from Arizona please come and pick up your truck.

Friday Night Dinner - Lamb Sliders and Mint Juleps

 Ground lamb with diced onion, salt, and pepper.

 Fry 'em.

 Mint Julep

Lamb sliders, cole slaw, and sweet potato

Six Month Anniversary

Today is my six month anniversary since I bought my condo. I like the inside. It's a nice size. I love the fact that I have a washer and dryer inside my place. In fact, I have to move some laundry over to the dryer as I type. I have a fireplace, although it is gas and doesn't give off much heat, it's still pretty to look at. I have a spare bedroom that I use as my office/computer room.

Yes, this place needs some work. I need new kitchen cabinets and countertops. The fireplace needs to be resurfaced. The bathroom is only half painted, and I need an electrician to move the wiring behind the wall so I can install legitimate fixtures. I'm not short on ideas. I'm just short on money.

But I look out on my balcony that that I just swept two days ago, and there is still eggshells falling between the cracks, cigarette butts, food crumbs, and a plastic toy. The kid above was making noise earlier. And all I want to know is when the market will pick up so I can sell this place and get away from the neighbors.

Yay me.

Thunderstruck

I am thunderstruck! After fuming for a day after the eggshells were dumped down to my deck, my neighbor rang my doorbell and apologized about it. She said a bag spilled and that's how the shells fell down. It wasn't until today that she was looking through the cracks and realized how much fell down. She even said she was planning to put down carpeting to prevent spills from falling down further.

She asked if I'd like her to come and pick up the shells. I gave my best emotionless, "No, I'll just clean it up later, but do you want the fork that fell down, too?" When I handed it to her it was covered in fuzz and dirt. I didn't want a stranger coming inside and peeping around seeing inside my place.

I am shocked that she apologized. It's not the first time she has done that, albeit after the fact. But it seems like if she's aware of these things, why not take precautions to stop it in advance?

I ask you, the reader, should her apology and proposal to put carpeting down make me reconsider taking all this to the condo association?

Eggshells from Heaven

More shit from the neighbors rained down this afternoon. Eggshells and a fork. Don't they know the average egg contains 212 mg of cholesterol? Silly fuckfaces. At this rate, they'll drop dead of heart attacks before I report them to the condo association and have them drummed out of the complex.

Sunday in the Park

Please play in 480p (the highest resolution available). It looks much better that way.

Friday Night Appetizers: Spring Rolls

Look at the expiration date on the rice noodles. They let you decide when it expires.

 Lettuce, mint, cilantro, bean sprouts, green onion, and shrimp (not shown).

 Ta-dah!

Exercise Terminology

I've rededicated myself recently to P90X. I just finished week 4, day 2.

It's been over a year now since I've been to a gym. I've been doing P90X off and on over the past year. I have seen improvements. I'm not experiencing a whole lot of results currently, but when I did it back to back my first two times, I was seeing improvements. I never saw anything like the video claims, but definitely enough to justify that I could get the same results with or without a gym.

Of course back during the gym days, I did my cardio on machines. Many people say they can't do cardio on a machine because it's boring. I can see that. So if you can't have fun on the machines, at least have fun with the names.

Here is a fogger-to-english translation guide for many of your common cardio machines.

stair mistress = stair master
ambulating belt = treadmill
velocipedler = stationary bike
waterless canoe = rowing machine
ovalator = elliptical machine

Pizza Face

Hurray for Saturday night dinner.

 

Movie Penis

Have you ever played a game where you use the title of a movie to describe your penis? I was having a back and forth of this game with a friend.

Of course the game is to come up with movie titles that make your penis sound impressive like King Kong, but I like to take it in the opposite direction by finding titles that shock and horrify or make it sound less than impressive. Here are some from my list.

Tootsie
Sister Act
The Hunt for Red October
Gidget (One of my favorites!)
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Not without My Daughter
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
To Kill a Mockingbird
Miracle on 34th Street
The Unsinkable Molly Brown (One of my favorites!)
Sophie's Choice
The Bad Seed
Baby's Day Out
Honey I Shrunk the Kids
Mame

Nancy Drew and the Case of the Tossed Out Toys

As much as I'd love to be that "that guy," that asshole who, when a frisbee or a ball lands in his yard,  announces to the neighborhood, "Now it's mine!" I'm just not that kind of guy.

But apparently I am THAT asshole who will go to great lengths to photo document toys being thrown from the upstairs condo down to the common areas and his patio with the intention of presenting them to the condo association as further proof that these renters have got to go.

Exhibit A: Some sort of tambourine? Maybe not a musical instrument, but in the hands of any skilled child, it becomes an irritating weapon.















Exhibit B: Some piece of crap plastic? No idea.

Exhibit C: A big blue ball discovered on my patio around 4:50 this afternoon. After taking this photo, I set the bouncy ball in front of my condo so that the perpetrator, a small boy, could get it back. At 7:35 this evening, my doorbell rang. The mother of the boy asked if I could check my patio and retreive the ball for her. I told her I had already set it in front of my condo because I figured they would see it. But where then was the ball? Someone else must have made off with it. Sorry little Michael, someone else is bouncing your ball now. Maybe you'll see it again some day. IN HELL!!!!!

La Mesa What a Place-A!

My car's back at the mechanic's shop again in La Mesa, California. It's the third time the transmission is being worked on. The first time to rebuilt the transmission, which in retrospect I don't think needed to be rebuild. The second time was to re-rebuild it because after less than 1000 miles, it threw a bearing which destroyed several other parts and cracked the gear box. This time, the third time, it started making a whirring noise between 30 and 40 mph. No word yet on when it will be fixed.

Now for the sexy details. After dropping off the car Monday morning, and while waiting in front of the mechanic's shop for my friend to give me a ride to work, I heard someone stopped at a stoplight making a noise. I heard it subconsciously, but didn't take much notice of it because I was rummaging through my murse, looking for my cell phone. I heard it a couple more times. It was like a whippoorwill noise.

Now that I found my phone, the noise entered my conscious mind, and I looked up to see a black man in a pickup truck giving me the San Francisco eyes (as my friend Tilly likes to say). And this is in La Mesa. Not Hillcrest.

I turned around and meandered to a less visible spot. No, sir, those aren't the gears I wanted worked on.

Lost In Thought: 6/12/2011

They don't write songs about people who like small butts.

Fat and Carbs for Dinner

Sourdough bread

Olive oil, balsamic vinegar and herb dip

Whiskey sour

Soft cheese

On a cracker

Noisy Trash

My upstairs neighbors, The Stompersons, are driving me batshit crazy. In addition to their general trashy ways, they have guests staying with them. There must be four children and three adults up there. Nonstop running, jumping, moving furniture around, and banging all through the night.

They arrived Thursday, and I don't think they've gone to bed yet.

I have visions of sawing a hole through my ceiling and their floor and then sticking my head through the hole a la Jack Nicholson in the Shining and screaming "Here's Johnny!" Followed by a sound fatal beating.

I have collected a lovely dirt pile of theirs down on my deck. Potato chip crumbs, cigarettes, matches, childrens' toys. And around 2:30 someone decided they didn't want their drink anymore so they poured it down through the slats of their deck to my patio.

Whatever happened to the good old days when mothers would drown their children?

Unbeweavable

This wins the WTF of the week. Some trash tossed her weave on the ground near my condo.

One

Every journey begins with one footstep. Every blog begins with one word.